Leo, I began reading this vn some weeks ago and I fell in love with the story, the setting , and the characters. I've only been reading about 10 to 20 minutes a day during the night because I'm really invested in the plot and I didn't want to just finish it all in a few hours.
SPOILER AHEAD, PLEASE DON'T KEEP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET SPOILED, I'M ABOUT TO DISCUSS IMPORTANT DETAILS OF THIS VN.
I got to the "fight" between Redline and Cole. And I gotta say this chapter seriously destroyed me, it's been a while since a piece of literature made me feel like this. I honestly kind of feel a bit resentful towards you because of the sheer brutality of the events, but I guess that's to be expected when you are a good writer and you manage to get your readers so attached to certain characters. So first of all, congratulations and secondly, since I've stopped reading I just need to know, a simple yes coming from you regarding this issue would mean the world to me.
Are you planning on making both the Commissioner and Cole suffer more or as much as Redline has suffered?
I guess them getting away would be realistic considering the world we live in where bad people get away with doing awful shit all the time, but my mental health craves revenge for poor Redline, Zander and Bruce.
And congratulations once again, if you happen to read this, even if you don't answer, I want to tell you, once again, that your visual novel is fantastic. Take care and I'm looking forward to reading more.
what a cool visual novel!! I started reading a couple of days ago, when the update came out, after seeing it on twitter. Thanks for putting it all together !! :D
Bro my blood has been BOILED. What a painful update to read (in the best way possible), like omg things keep getting worse and the story just keeps getting better and I can’t with this damn suspense. 20/10 story update omg
Rant with spoilers
This mf bitch of a commissioner (literally and figuratively lol) PISSES ME OFF. How the hell does this man justify his actions for the shit he's trying to pull, and just blame it straight on Zan? HELLO??? I bet that piece of shit took Cole on a damn vacation as a reward for making him more money like COME ON LOL. Since he is listening to everything they say, he knew exactly what to say to make Zan attack him. Idk what happened to poor Bruce (praying for him rn), but I hope Bucky and Drayden pull through, along with Zan especially 😭
Also, these updates on Red got me so disheartened, hearing about his vision is what messed me up. I just want all my bois to pull through PLZZ.
Picked up this story 2 days ago, and I haven't been able to stop reading. Absolutely amazing. I am really looking forward to the next update. My only complaint is now I don't know what to read next. I don't feel like anything will scratch the itch while I wait for the next update.
Tbh i get bored of all this loss without an moment of apreciaton for them like a day off or anything good and obvious shown rather than Friendship..idk what will come? Bruce tortured and then Zan metting up with uhh Cole?...and then more drama and tragedy where more tension is with Bucky and drayden?
how much can this continue?...Like the commisioner said all just for drama and money?..sorry i think like that but after i saw the description of this vn i begin to retreat from it now.
I can't find the words to describe how angry I am at the commissioner. My blood was pumping just seeing him justify his actions and pinning the blame all on Zan. I really wanna know how it all plays out. A 10/10 update tops 👍
I'm in the middle of playing this, and so far it's pretty good. Though I just got to a part in the story I'm confused about.
Light Spoilers
I'm at the retirement party for Ryan, and Zander and Bruce are suddenly... not exactly friends, but chummy? Like, just a few scenes previously Zander absolutely hated Bruce; didn't want to interact or even make eye contact. Then we get the "A few weeks pass...", and at the party they are totally okay chatting with each other like its nothing, they even talk about the upcoming fight.
Thank you for reading! The vibe here was that Zander was too exhausted to put up much of a fight. This was another attempt from Bruce to befriend him. I wouldn't exactly call them 'chummy' at this point, more 'civil' than anything else.
Ahh okay, I've read some more, and I do still feel Zander's opinion of Bruce changes really quickly before and after that few weeks time skip. It felt like he goes from hating to tolerant of Bruce. Enough so, that I felt I had somehow missed some context.
Other than that, I'm really enjoying it! The story has a good slow burn, and the characters are colourful and interesting. Kudos to you :)
Question, I notice there are quite a few decision parts that don't "seem" to have much effect on the story. Is there supposed to be romance routes and maybe they aren't implemented yet? Or is this a linear story with just Redline being the only option?
I even understand some people prefer Bruce, but they're rooting for Red to die, so they're just playing to be with the hot guy, Red has a very good development, I personally hope that Red is okay, and that Bruce didn't kill zander, but I think rrd will have some permanent damage
This visual novel is good, but also kinda makes you sad like if you were actually Zander when redline almost dies or did die. Hope in the next update he is alive and so is Zander after getting choked in the penthouse by Bruce, because I just want to see a sorta happy end.
I made an account just to comment on this. First of all I wanna say thank you for this gift. I thought I was gonna get dating sim that I play for max I about 1 hour but ended up being engrossed in this fantasy/surreal story in an underground wrestling world for about 6+ hours straight. I could not stop playing and wanted to constantly know more of the story,
(SPOILERS BELOW)
Highlight for me:
Redline started as a character I thought was just nice and cute but a bit of a people pleaser, then I found him annoying and what I thought was arrogance, and then I thought literally ”you are my only light in this world”.
It felt realistic how this really talketive fella who gave the more stoic Zander attention would annoy him at first, but after being treated by everyone else like crap he would long for the positive attention and even feel apologetic towards Red. I got emotional and felt guilty when learning about the source of Redlines people pleasing nature and I thought it was described beautifly (how he just wanted to be good to someone, through sex etc). How Zander felt protective over Reds positvity. Like I FELT that Zander loved him, I felt he wanted to protect him. I felt how isolated and abused they both were as gay men, and how Redline described ”not feeling like they belonged in the world”. That scene when they sat at the beach was 10/10. So much love, so much pain. The inner diolouge with Zander and him describing his feelings (with the head pats and sleeping next to him in the hospital) felt so pure and gentle. Not overly done, just enough to understand his protectivness and affection for Redline. And it was a slow beautiful build up! Zander I did not feel felt a romantic pull towards Red until later on when he started longing for his attention and positvity, it felt real. It felt pure.
Maybe there are things that I would change in the story, but the Redliner and Zander relationship really carried it for me. There are a lot more things I could say but I just wanted to let you or yall know that I really appriciate this work. Thank you so much. I hope you take your time with the rest and finish it.
Is it possible to implement a "hide" button on the UI on android? I know the UI just got changed massively but it would be a huge quality of life improvement down the line. I do understand this isn't development priority now probably.
thanks for listening to feedback! I know it's a small thing in the grand scheme of things but would make the amazing illustrations so much better to admire :3
spoilers
I love this story, the characters are interesting and their backgrounds ARE something readers can connect with and thus care about. Little anxious protagonist going up against the angry dino with a temper, and then there's the hyper add hyena sidekick cinnamon roll.
That said, the choices early on with Zander’s feelings when those times come up. I absolutely love stories that can deviate slightly as with the bad ending, Redlines comments on Zander’s perspective etc. On that point, Zander and Red.. I thought Zander had a crush on Bruce with all the hard work and fighting they were practicing together. It is distracting having a choice earlier for feelings of attraction on the cast, will it matter in the end? It made me care for Red less, personally. I feel conflicted, between sympathy and guilt for wanting the choice to matter but it is your story to tell ultimately. I just don’t want the choice to be useless.
I just got through this update and oh my goodness there's a lot.
I'm definitely trying to go for Bruce as my love interest, (if that's even possible) Don't get me wrong Red is nice and all but he's really not my type and at the same time I just feel like he needs a friend not so much a boyfriend.
Also I'm kind of upset with the main character now for how he treated Bruce at the last little bit I understand that he's upset and his emotions are high they all are.
But in my opinion that's no excuse for putting all the blame on Bruce and telling him he should have just thrown the fights just so he could win.
Especially when he doesn't even know it's the commander has something over Bruce to force him to try and win every fight so while I am very much mad at Cole!!! The Bitch!!
I also can't condone the main characters actions/words toward Bruce and to me they even come off as selfish.
Anyways regardless of all that this was a great update really got me in the feels definitely made my blood boil and I can't wait to see this move forward hopefully the main character starts treating both Red and Bruce better.
Spoilers
I hate redline so much. I thought we would be given a choice on who to date, but it just gets ignored and forces alex to like redline. If you weren't forced to have feelings for him I probably would've felt bad for him (hopefully) dying, but instead it feels like a reward. I would date litterally every single character - including cole - before even considering to pick redline (and bruce). Also Im surprised barely anyone is talking about drayden, he's the only reason I continue to play this game. Besides my problem with the romatic part of the game, I actually like the storyline. Anyways, thank you for making this.
(I deleted my prevuous comment so i could make this a button and take less space)
I wanted to start reading this vn, but after seeing a couple comments I'm kinda scared. Like am I gonna fall for a character and then just get my heart ripped out of my chest again?? Please, with no spoilers, tell me if I should 😭
Spoilers
GOD this update was a real punch in the gut bruh. The tension in this update fucking hurt. I wanna like smack the shit out of everyone but red, because omg he didn't deserve that my poor guy 😭
AND THE CLIFFHANGER dude I was so mad I almost dropped my laptop.
Everyone else is pointing out the kinda forced route with red, especially with the choice, and I sorta agree but I’m assuming (mostly guessing and hoping) more routes will be added in the future.
For now we just wait and hope he pulls through ;-;
Hi! I played this until I could and I can say this was great! Dude you brilliantly wrote this! Keep up the good work and can't wait for another update! Hopefully Bruce will come with his own choice that he could also choose! great character and deserves the best!
← Return to game
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Just out of pure curiosity, how much of the story has currently been written? Are we about half way through, or are we approaching the climax soon?
Edit:
Nvm, I'm so fucking stupid. Next builds gonna be the last.
*facepalm*
Leo, I began reading this vn some weeks ago and I fell in love with the story, the setting , and the characters. I've only been reading about 10 to 20 minutes a day during the night because I'm really invested in the plot and I didn't want to just finish it all in a few hours.
SPOILER AHEAD, PLEASE DON'T KEEP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET SPOILED, I'M ABOUT TO DISCUSS IMPORTANT DETAILS OF THIS VN.
I got to the "fight" between Redline and Cole. And I gotta say this chapter seriously destroyed me, it's been a while since a piece of literature made me feel like this. I honestly kind of feel a bit resentful towards you because of the sheer brutality of the events, but I guess that's to be expected when you are a good writer and you manage to get your readers so attached to certain characters. So first of all, congratulations and secondly, since I've stopped reading I just need to know, a simple yes coming from you regarding this issue would mean the world to me.
Are you planning on making both the Commissioner and Cole suffer more or as much as Redline has suffered?
I guess them getting away would be realistic considering the world we live in where bad people get away with doing awful shit all the time, but my mental health craves revenge for poor Redline, Zander and Bruce.
And congratulations once again, if you happen to read this, even if you don't answer, I want to tell you, once again, that your visual novel is fantastic. Take care and I'm looking forward to reading more.
i cant wait for the next one I'm so mad right now after HIM you know what I'm referring when i say HIM
Right ... i want HIS head in HIS ass
Real shit. Kill him off. And the other one, though if my memory's correct he got fired
One of the best fucking visual novels I've ever read. Seriously this is top tier wtf
The last chapter broke my heart. Looking forward to round 8, can’t wait to find some time to dive in.
pity party persecution fantasy
what a cool visual novel!! I started reading a couple of days ago, when the update came out, after seeing it on twitter. Thanks for putting it all together !! :D
BEGGING on my knees for a happy ending for them 😭 😭
Bro my blood has been BOILED. What a painful update to read (in the best way possible), like omg things keep getting worse and the story just keeps getting better and I can’t with this damn suspense. 20/10 story update omg
Rant with spoilers
This mf bitch of a commissioner (literally and figuratively lol) PISSES ME OFF. How the hell does this man justify his actions for the shit he's trying to pull, and just blame it straight on Zan? HELLO??? I bet that piece of shit took Cole on a damn vacation as a reward for making him more money like COME ON LOL. Since he is listening to everything they say, he knew exactly what to say to make Zan attack him. Idk what happened to poor Bruce (praying for him rn), but I hope Bucky and Drayden pull through, along with Zan especially 😭Also, these updates on Red got me so disheartened, hearing about his vision is what messed me up. I just want all my bois to pull through PLZZ.
Picked up this story 2 days ago, and I haven't been able to stop reading. Absolutely amazing. I am really looking forward to the next update. My only complaint is now I don't know what to read next. I don't feel like anything will scratch the itch while I wait for the next update.
Great flipping update! The tone of this round was certainly different to the others, and I loved it 😌
Please add to the itch.io description that romance options are linear. I really did have my heart set on Bruce 😢
The next round is gonna be a rumble
Tbh i get bored of all this loss without an moment of apreciaton for them like a day off or anything good and obvious shown rather than Friendship..idk what will come? Bruce tortured and then Zan metting up with uhh Cole?...and then more drama and tragedy where more tension is with Bucky and drayden?
how much can this continue?...Like the commisioner said all just for drama and money?..sorry i think like that but after i saw the description of this vn i begin to retreat from it now.
Really looking forward to the next update! Keep up with the good stuff! :)
(So much shit happened that I have no other words.... lol )
We got faith in Zan 😤
Man, this latest update was crazy I did not expect this turn of events. I don't think my poor heart can take any more of this.
I can't find the words to describe how angry I am at the commissioner. My blood was pumping just seeing him justify his actions and pinning the blame all on Zan. I really wanna know how it all plays out. A 10/10 update tops 👍
You and me both what he said literally was so fucked up
I'm in the middle of playing this, and so far it's pretty good. Though I just got to a part in the story I'm confused about.
Light Spoilers
I'm at the retirement party for Ryan, and Zander and Bruce are suddenly... not exactly friends, but chummy? Like, just a few scenes previously Zander absolutely hated Bruce; didn't want to interact or even make eye contact. Then we get the "A few weeks pass...", and at the party they are totally okay chatting with each other like its nothing, they even talk about the upcoming fight.
I feel like I missed a chunk of story?
Thank you for reading! The vibe here was that Zander was too exhausted to put up much of a fight. This was another attempt from Bruce to befriend him. I wouldn't exactly call them 'chummy' at this point, more 'civil' than anything else.
Ahh okay, I've read some more, and I do still feel Zander's opinion of Bruce changes really quickly before and after that few weeks time skip. It felt like he goes from hating to tolerant of Bruce. Enough so, that I felt I had somehow missed some context.
Other than that, I'm really enjoying it! The story has a good slow burn, and the characters are colourful and interesting. Kudos to you :)
Question, I notice there are quite a few decision parts that don't "seem" to have much effect on the story. Is there supposed to be romance routes and maybe they aren't implemented yet? Or is this a linear story with just Redline being the only option?
THIS? I PLAYED THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING AND THIS IS THE END OF THE UPDATE I FIND??? WTF? EVERYONE BETTER BE OK OR I SWEAR TO GOD-
(amazing stuff btw)
I'm looking forward to it too, but the good thing is that the next update comes out this Saturday, April 6.
I even understand some people prefer Bruce, but they're rooting for Red to die, so they're just playing to be with the hot guy, Red has a very good development, I personally hope that Red is okay, and that Bruce didn't kill zander, but I think rrd will have some permanent damage
This vn hooked me up so much it's unique in everyway. Redline got my heart and he better not die next update, because if he did, It'll hurt so much.
Please keep up the good work just keep going till this vn goes up
This visual novel is good, but also kinda makes you sad like if you were actually Zander when redline almost dies or did die. Hope in the next update he is alive and so is Zander after getting choked in the penthouse by Bruce, because I just want to see a sorta happy end.
It seems that only romance interest is redline or would there be more love interests ?
I drew fanart of Drayden! I posted it on twitter with the hashtag #undefeatedVN. Sorry if the quality is bad.
Ah, I can't seem to find it. Can you please tag the Twitter @Undefeated_VN? Thanks!
Oh! I didn’t expect for you to actually reply to my comment. I tagged the account in a reply, sorry again if the drawing is not good.
Also sorry for the late response!
I made an account just to comment on this. First of all I wanna say thank you for this gift. I thought I was gonna get dating sim that I play for max I about 1 hour but ended up being engrossed in this fantasy/surreal story in an underground wrestling world for about 6+ hours straight. I could not stop playing and wanted to constantly know more of the story,
(SPOILERS BELOW)
Highlight for me:
Redline started as a character I thought was just nice and cute but a bit of a people pleaser, then I found him annoying and what I thought was arrogance, and then I thought literally ”you are my only light in this world”.
It felt realistic how this really talketive fella who gave the more stoic Zander attention would annoy him at first, but after being treated by everyone else like crap he would long for the positive attention and even feel apologetic towards Red. I got emotional and felt guilty when learning about the source of Redlines people pleasing nature and I thought it was described beautifly (how he just wanted to be good to someone, through sex etc). How Zander felt protective over Reds positvity. Like I FELT that Zander loved him, I felt he wanted to protect him. I felt how isolated and abused they both were as gay men, and how Redline described ”not feeling like they belonged in the world”. That scene when they sat at the beach was 10/10. So much love, so much pain. The inner diolouge with Zander and him describing his feelings (with the head pats and sleeping next to him in the hospital) felt so pure and gentle. Not overly done, just enough to understand his protectivness and affection for Redline. And it was a slow beautiful build up! Zander I did not feel felt a romantic pull towards Red until later on when he started longing for his attention and positvity, it felt real. It felt pure.
Maybe there are things that I would change in the story, but the Redliner and Zander relationship really carried it for me. There are a lot more things I could say but I just wanted to let you or yall know that I really appriciate this work. Thank you so much. I hope you take your time with the rest and finish it.
I was just thinking I hadn't played a FVN that really punched me in the gut. Fighting league pun maybe intended?
I hope you-know-who turns out you-know-what. I love him. Looking forward to what's next!
I really liked this vn, but it's getting a bit too much now.
no pleasee 😭 😭
i was choking on tears and that cliffhanger dude
i hate cole grrrr
Hope when Zan wakes up he'll apologize for all he said. And maybe kiss and make up. Hopefully 🍀
Is it possible to implement a "hide" button on the UI on android? I know the UI just got changed massively but it would be a huge quality of life improvement down the line. I do understand this isn't development priority now probably.
I'll look into it! Thanks!
thanks for listening to feedback! I know it's a small thing in the grand scheme of things but would make the amazing illustrations so much better to admire :3
can't wait for the next update! I'm hooked!
spoilers
I love this story, the characters are interesting and their backgrounds ARE something readers can connect with and thus care about. Little anxious protagonist going up against the angry dino with a temper, and then there's the hyper add hyena sidekick cinnamon roll.That said, the choices early on with Zander’s feelings when those times come up. I absolutely love stories that can deviate slightly as with the bad ending, Redlines comments on Zander’s perspective etc. On that point, Zander and Red.. I thought Zander had a crush on Bruce with all the hard work and fighting they were practicing together. It is distracting having a choice earlier for feelings of attraction on the cast, will it matter in the end? It made me care for Red less, personally. I feel conflicted, between sympathy and guilt for wanting the choice to matter but it is your story to tell ultimately. I just don’t want the choice to be useless.
I just got through this update and oh my goodness there's a lot.
I'm definitely trying to go for Bruce as my love interest, (if that's even possible) Don't get me wrong Red is nice and all but he's really not my type and at the same time I just feel like he needs a friend not so much a boyfriend.
Also I'm kind of upset with the main character now for how he treated Bruce at the last little bit I understand that he's upset and his emotions are high they all are.
But in my opinion that's no excuse for putting all the blame on Bruce and telling him he should have just thrown the fights just so he could win.
Especially when he doesn't even know it's the commander has something over Bruce to force him to try and win every fight so while I am very much mad at Cole!!! The Bitch!!
I also can't condone the main characters actions/words toward Bruce and to me they even come off as selfish.
Anyways regardless of all that this was a great update really got me in the feels definitely made my blood boil and I can't wait to see this move forward hopefully the main character starts treating both Red and Bruce better.
Spoilers
I hate redline so much. I thought we would be given a choice on who to date, but it just gets ignored and forces alex to like redline. If you weren't forced to have feelings for him I probably would've felt bad for him (hopefully) dying, but instead it feels like a reward. I would date litterally every single character - including cole - before even considering to pick redline (and bruce). Also Im surprised barely anyone is talking about drayden, he's the only reason I continue to play this game. Besides my problem with the romatic part of the game, I actually like the storyline. Anyways, thank you for making this.(I deleted my prevuous comment so i could make this a button and take less space)
"(hopefully)" PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The dating every single character but X part PLEASE I CAN'T
I wanted to start reading this vn, but after seeing a couple comments I'm kinda scared. Like am I gonna fall for a character and then just get my heart ripped out of my chest again?? Please, with no spoilers, tell me if I should 😭
it sparked emotions in me i havent felt in a while, very good vn, highly highly recommend
Can u send a new discord invite? the other links are expired thanks :D
My anger towards that one character is unmeasurable
just asking but is there a discord server or is there planed one?
Yep! Right here! https://discord.gg/Yu3ZNQzUsh
Spoilers
GOD this update was a real punch in the gut bruh. The tension in this update fucking hurt. I wanna like smack the shit out of everyone but red, because omg he didn't deserve that my poor guy 😭 AND THE CLIFFHANGER dude I was so mad I almost dropped my laptop.Everyone else is pointing out the kinda forced route with red, especially with the choice, and I sorta agree but I’m assuming (mostly guessing and hoping) more routes will be added in the future.
For now we just wait and hope he pulls through ;-;
How did you make a button?
Turn on "Prefer Markdown input where available" in ur profile settings first then u can do this
<details>
<summary>box name</summary>
text
</details>
thank you
Hi! I played this until I could and I can say this was great! Dude you brilliantly wrote this! Keep up the good work and can't wait for another update! Hopefully Bruce will come with his own choice that he could also choose! great character and deserves the best!