I have not played all of the parts, but I have some advice that I do not know it is proper to say. I guess the colour of the name tag at the upper position of the dialogue of Zander and Bucky is from color of their body? But it is a little bit similar(I think not but it does make me get them wrong when I am just scanning the dialogue several times. That probably is because of the setting of my device? Whatever, it is not a big deal actually, just it is what I did feel so just say it. And actually in the scene that they are taking photos for the champion fights for ads, I thought Bruce is gonna be higher, or bigger(?) I mean, by the description I thought Bruce and Zander are like 200cm to 175? And it looks like they are like 180 to 170? I mean yes it does look like there is a big gap in size( I mean body) but I thought the gap is gonna be even wider? In another word, I think u did sooooo good that Bruce gives a impression that he is a really really huge man, or fighter?
I like the setting and have never seen a dinosaur character in visual novel, I like it. XD
Worth keeping track of. Very unique setting, and it doesn't dump exposition on you - instead expects you to piece things together through context. Is it a futuristic setting, as the super drugs and underground facility imply? Alternate present day history? Other sports dying out because of regulations, with FANG being the beacon of "brutal raw fun" for fans left in the sport world is an interesting lore bit that further makes my gears spin.
P.S. Redline is the cutest wittle yeenie beanie, he deserves all the happiness in the world.
Did I miss something with my choices? I feel like there was a weird knowledge gap right before the beach party (specifically with Redline discussing his sexual history, which I don't think was established beforehand..?).
Bruce has been shown to have friends in Round 1. Even still, he's able to be amicable to people he doesn't talk to often (Like Bucky and Drayden).
You can also see in their conversation at the end of the night, Bruce is standing away from Zander and speaking pretty quietly. Anyone looking on won't be able to tell that they're having a conversation, and if they CAN tell, they're probably too drunk to remember it at this point.
None of the choices made up to this point affect the story in any way.
This is the first we're hearing about Redline's sexual history, there's context in the scene that may show why he's suddenly being more open about that sort of thing ( 🍻 )
I was mostly thrown by the fact that Zander came out to Drayden in a required scene (which felt significant), and then after the other two scenes, we went to the retirement beach party where Red was super casual about being into guys (and he knew Zander was into guys, too, which was a surprise, but treated as a known fact).
That's where I felt like I was missing something. There wasn't a precedent for Red or the MC to be casual about liking guys or admitting it to each other, but suddenly they're talking about it like nothing happened. At least, that's what I read.
Redline is the kind of person to just put that kind of information out there. I was working under the assumption that over the course of the month, they've talked about it to some extent, but it's not really a big deal between them. You do make a point, though, I'll make a note to add that information in an earlier scene.
I uploaded the new builds last night but kept them hidden until their announcement this morning. Accidentally wiped over the old Android build, but I figured nobody would notice, haha. Good eye! ; w;
I use 'Round' like someone would use 'Chapter'. Round 1 is Chapter 1, Round 2 is Chapter 2, etc. Chapter 2 ends right before the next fight with Bruce begins.
I got pulled in right from the start! It certainly was a novel experience being thrown straight into the action. The characters all have a bit of their own charm to them as well. I look forward to what future updates bring! I'm calling it rn though:
Bruce was totally the one carrying him back to his room (that whole scene was hilarious btw). The floor do be pretty comfie sometimes.
Right away there is lack of proper intro/reason he is there, a "Round 0" is missing. What species is Zander? Aw no sprite for wolf? Hyena Cute! SALMON! Is Zander a Deer??? Should be leading with that information, he may look like one, but CONFIRM it! ^^; Wait... How did he get from Bedroom to Cafe??? I just want to cuddle with that Cat! Bruce certainly seems like an asshole, but I get the feeling its in part an act, for he seems like he is restraining himself rom going too far. And did Bruce do what I think he did for Zander? Wonder if anyfuzzy else caught that!? Only time will tell if I am right.
In complete agreement to this. There is a lot of lack of information or getting to know the character and it is just.... causing me to not play it, or torture myself to the end. But the feeling of not wanting to go on is there and that's not something one wants in a game (Unless the game is literally about that, then sure). There needs to be a change on how introducing or getting to know the character is there. The pacing feels really slow and I feel I learned nothing about anyone other than the same
information you said. Characters are asshole. Hyena cute! Oh wait Hyena asshole too. Zander is asshole too. Everyone here is an ass.
Way to go Leo! You're doing such an amazing job so far!
The story is really intriguing and your writing truly manages to make you identify with the protagonist. Especially at the end of Round 2, I swear I was feeling nervous too!
He not more here but it is nice to see art the remind me of good times with him.
Later with time I may try this story.
But meow...
I notice a strange quantity of negative "votes" in all comments bellow, even in comment that should not even have positive or negative points.
Look like someone do not like you and or is trying to troll your game in negative way (I am not sure the word use to say it.). I sent a comment about it for Itch support. I feel like if to it happen that way someone probably using many accounts to do it.
Hope everything going fine with you and your game there.
Thank you for the comment, Pandrine! He certainly does look like Drayden, that's amazing! I hope they were wonderful memories <3 I hope you enjoy the story!
This game would be absolutely amazing even if there wasn't any romance involved though it is too early to say who it might be, the time will show. We have got to be patient ;)
didn't expect the writing of this, I feel intrigued by this and never expected this would be added to my top list of fvn rapidly. soooo good and damn im excited where this gonna be next round
Xou're very good at capturing emotion, I became pretty immersed and was sad to see it end so soon! U_U the 2econd update really solidifies not just xour writing style, but the MC's personality. Keep up the great work! n_n/
Hi, I really liked your novel. I'm a translator from Russia, and I'm participating in ExGames project, we translate short stories for Russian mortals, and I'd really like to translate your short story into Russian, will it be possible to do? It's not commercial, I'm not interested in money, if anything I'm ready to give the Russian translation to you when the novel is finished
Ahhh!! I love a visual novel when it includes themes of suspense, trauma, etc. I hope Zander gets out of this hellhole someday. I'll wait patiently for updates :)
Will there be romance and romance routes? The plot so far looks interesting. Also will this VN have NSFW or sex in the future? If I may ask, that is...
This is great! n_n good story premise, nice cast of characters, and it's well written :3 when fighting is described in other VN's, people normally mess it up by make it too confusing to follow, but xou did a great job describing the scene! :P excited to see where this goes~ UwU
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I have not played all of the parts, but I have some advice that I do not know it is proper to say. I guess the colour of the name tag at the upper position of the dialogue of Zander and Bucky is from color of their body? But it is a little bit similar(I think not but it does make me get them wrong when I am just scanning the dialogue several times. That probably is because of the setting of my device? Whatever, it is not a big deal actually, just it is what I did feel so just say it. And actually in the scene that they are taking photos for the champion fights for ads, I thought Bruce is gonna be higher, or bigger(?) I mean, by the description I thought Bruce and Zander are like 200cm to 175? And it looks like they are like 180 to 170? I mean yes it does look like there is a big gap in size( I mean body) but I thought the gap is gonna be even wider? In another word, I think u did sooooo good that Bruce gives a impression that he is a really really huge man, or fighter?
I like the setting and have never seen a dinosaur character in visual novel, I like it. XD
Worth keeping track of. Very unique setting, and it doesn't dump exposition on you - instead expects you to piece things together through context. Is it a futuristic setting, as the super drugs and underground facility imply? Alternate present day history? Other sports dying out because of regulations, with FANG being the beacon of "brutal raw fun" for fans left in the sport world is an interesting lore bit that further makes my gears spin.
P.S. Redline is the cutest wittle yeenie beanie, he deserves all the happiness in the world.
Did I miss something with my choices? I feel like there was a weird knowledge gap right before the beach party (specifically with Redline discussing his sexual history, which I don't think was established beforehand..?).
yeah, that and Bruce getting along with everyone, among other things :I
Bruce has been shown to have friends in Round 1. Even still, he's able to be amicable to people he doesn't talk to often (Like Bucky and Drayden).
You can also see in their conversation at the end of the night, Bruce is standing away from Zander and speaking pretty quietly. Anyone looking on won't be able to tell that they're having a conversation, and if they CAN tell, they're probably too drunk to remember it at this point.
None of the choices made up to this point affect the story in any way.
This is the first we're hearing about Redline's sexual history, there's context in the scene that may show why he's suddenly being more open about that sort of thing ( 🍻 )
I was mostly thrown by the fact that Zander came out to Drayden in a required scene (which felt significant), and then after the other two scenes, we went to the retirement beach party where Red was super casual about being into guys (and he knew Zander was into guys, too, which was a surprise, but treated as a known fact).
That's where I felt like I was missing something. There wasn't a precedent for Red or the MC to be casual about liking guys or admitting it to each other, but suddenly they're talking about it like nothing happened. At least, that's what I read.
Redline is the kind of person to just put that kind of information out there. I was working under the assumption that over the course of the month, they've talked about it to some extent, but it's not really a big deal between them. You do make a point, though, I'll make a note to add that information in an earlier scene.
Idk why but i have gained a liking to Bruce
really hyped for the next update! keep up the good work :3
Thank you so much!
Oh my fucking god, the history keep escalating, the plot is soo good, soo original. Damn, this vn is an art piece.
Thank you so much!
Seeing that mc kind of has a deadname made me feel so much more connected to him. I sure hope everything works out alright for Zander.
Thank you <3
Am I crazy for getting some dystopian megacorp vibes..?
Anyhow, good read, can't wait for more
I love the game can't wait too see the next build owo
Oh god LMAO the last thing I could have ever expected for background music was Rock Thing by Creo, that's such a good choice haha.
What happen to the android build?
Gone reduced to atoms
But yea where did it go?
ah shit i've been found out
I uploaded the new builds last night but kept them hidden until their announcement this morning. Accidentally wiped over the old Android build, but I figured nobody would notice, haha. Good eye! ; w;
Waaait a minute, I'm confused.
So there was round one, and round two starts, then it just... ends?
I use 'Round' like someone would use 'Chapter'. Round 1 is Chapter 1, Round 2 is Chapter 2, etc. Chapter 2 ends right before the next fight with Bruce begins.
Ahhh, gotcha
Thanks for clarifying!
I got pulled in right from the start! It certainly was a novel experience being thrown straight into the action. The characters all have a bit of their own charm to them as well. I look forward to what future updates bring! I'm calling it rn though:
Bruce was totally the one carrying him back to his room (that whole scene was hilarious btw). The floor do be pretty comfie sometimes.
I guess I was right, lol.
How many love interests are there in this game?
The story is a single path, with only one optional love interest planned.
Who's it gonna be?
Right away there is lack of proper intro/reason he is there, a "Round 0" is missing. What species is Zander? Aw no sprite for wolf? Hyena Cute! SALMON! Is Zander a Deer??? Should be leading with that information, he may look like one, but CONFIRM it! ^^; Wait... How did he get from Bedroom to Cafe??? I just want to cuddle with that Cat! Bruce certainly seems like an asshole, but I get the feeling its in part an act, for he seems like he is restraining himself rom going too far. And did Bruce do what I think he did for Zander? Wonder if anyfuzzy else caught that!? Only time will tell if I am right.
In complete agreement to this. There is a lot of lack of information or getting to know the character and it is just.... causing me to not play it, or torture myself to the end. But the feeling of not wanting to go on is there and that's not something one wants in a game (Unless the game is literally about that, then sure). There needs to be a change on how introducing or getting to know the character is there. The pacing feels really slow and I feel I learned nothing about anyone other than the same
information you said. Characters are asshole. Hyena cute! Oh wait Hyena asshole too. Zander is asshole too. Everyone here is an ass.
If by murder you mean small on top, that seems like the path laid out.
Is this your 1st novel??
If it does I want to ask questions, might as well as pointers too!
Pleas? 😅😁
I wanted to make my own so I kinda wanted to know how'd you do it here on ren'py or post it on itch.io
Way to go Leo! You're doing such an amazing job so far!
The story is really intriguing and your writing truly manages to make you identify with the protagonist. Especially at the end of Round 2, I swear I was feeling nervous too!
Can't wait for Round 3 to come out!
Rio de Janeiro, September 25th 2022
The Drayden 's face remind of my cat.
He not more here but it is nice to see art the remind me of good times with him.
But meow...
I notice a strange quantity of negative "votes" in all comments bellow, even in comment that should not even have positive or negative points.
Look like someone do not like you and or is trying to troll your game in negative way (I am not sure the word use to say it.). I sent a comment about it for Itch support. I feel like if to it happen that way someone probably using many accounts to do it.
Hope everything going fine with you and your game there.
Mewing,
Pandrine
Thank you for the comment, Pandrine! He certainly does look like Drayden, that's amazing! I hope they were wonderful memories <3 I hope you enjoy the story!
Will this VN have any NSFW content?
Undefeated will not feature any NSFW content.
Thanks for the clarification
Who are the love interests of the game?
This game would be absolutely amazing even if there wasn't any romance involved
though it is too early to say who it might be, the time will show. We have got to be patient ;)
didn't expect the writing of this, I feel intrigued by this and never expected this would be added to my top list of fvn rapidly. soooo good and damn im excited where this gonna be next round
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!
Xou're very good at capturing emotion, I became pretty immersed and was sad to see it end so soon! U_U the 2econd update really solidifies not just xour writing style, but the MC's personality. Keep up the great work! n_n/
Thank you so much!!
Hi, I really liked your novel. I'm a translator from Russia, and I'm participating in ExGames project, we translate short stories for Russian mortals, and I'd really like to translate your short story into Russian, will it be possible to do?
It's not commercial, I'm not interested in money, if anything I'm ready to give the Russian translation to you when the novel is finished
i neeed moore.
Very soon. :)
when is the Next Update
I am loving this so far I hope to see more!
Thank you!!
Already waiting for more
Ahhh!! I love a visual novel when it includes themes of suspense, trauma, etc. I hope Zander gets out of this hellhole someday. I'll wait patiently for updates :)
Thank you.
Loving the concept, can't wait to see where the story goes ^^
Will there be romance and romance routes? The plot so far looks interesting. Also will this VN have NSFW or sex in the future? If I may ask, that is...
Undefeated will not feature sexual content. There will be romance, but no alternate routes.
At least we'll have romance, how many dateable characters will there be?
So it will be the same story, no matter if u take on romance or not (and no matter whith whom)?
Correct, there will be a romance option available, but it will not change the sole outcome of the story.
This is great! n_n good story premise, nice cast of characters, and it's well written :3 when fighting is described in other VN's, people normally mess it up by make it too confusing to follow, but xou did a great job describing the scene! :P excited to see where this goes~ UwU
Question.
Zander and Redline can be in a boyfriends relationship in future updates?
Don't worry, i respect your decisions with your story/Vn.
I just curious.
Super good looking characters, can't wait to see where this story leads n.n
No sexual content and still sounds interesting, this might be a real treat for us, but I'll have to play on my pc to figure it out, until then
Will there be NSFW? For those who are wandering... not for me XD blep
While there is no sexual content, the graphic violence and strong language may not be considered SFW.
While there is no sexual content, the graphic violence and strong language may not be considered SFW.
The characters are so beautiful 😃✨
Thank you!! The artists did an amazing job 💖
I can see 🙂✨
I think i know this artist from twitter, and yeah great sprites!
Thank you! Hunter did a fantastic job 💖